In God I Trust

Psalm 56

To the choirmaster: according to The Dove on Far-off Terebinths. A Miktam^a of David, when the Philistines seized him in Gath.

Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me; all day long an attacker oppresses me;
my enemies trample on me all day long, for many attack me proudly. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? All day long they injure my cause; all their thoughts are against me for evil. They stir up strife, they lurk; they watch my steps, as they have waited for my life. For their crime will they escape?
In wrath cast down the peoples, O God! You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call.
This I know, that^d God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? I must perform my vows to you, O God;
I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.

 

 

In Psalm 56:3, it says when I am afraid I put my trust in you. I am afraid alot lately. It doesn't make sense because things in my life are good. Anxiety has been my thorn in the flesh for a long time. Yet God in his word says when I put his word in my heart and I trust in that I shall not be afraid. The essence for me of being fearful and afraid is un-belief.  So as I am on my face before the LORD I just lay all this at his feet. Every fear, every anxious thought. God has it. There are many things in life right now that I don't understand...why they happen as they do to those I love and care about...But what I know is that GOD is good even in the midst of great pain and fear. He is good. He is love. He is for me. Its whose word I praise, its him in who I should trust. For you GOD have delievered me from death. So in the midst of it all, I love you LORD. When I don't understand. I place my hand in yours. You are mine. I love you. 

Its been a while

I haven't blogged since Jan of this year. And I know why...I've been holding off having that conversation with the LORD. I've been holding on to things he never designed for me too. So here I go LORD. I've been holding on to the pain of not just loosing Mom but just so focused on the pain. I have so many things that I wish I didn't deal with..And there lies the problem. Its not my place to hold on to these things or to even think its my place carry this burden. The LORD has really been dealing with me and talking with me of what I really believe and what truths I've been following. Sad to say, I'm learning that I may know in my head what the truth is  but my actions and my reactions show a totally different thing. So my prayer is that the LORD would put to death those untruths in my heart. That I would believe that 1st of all that he loves me. Often i tell him in my quiet time or in prayer that I love him. Sometimes I think that the basis of this relationship is up to me...But well girl-friend that is so not true! He loved me 1st and he has gone to great lengths to show his love for me...So, LORD you love me. You love me. You love Laura. A girl who has chosen the hard way sometimes. The girl who trusts in herself in what she can do and puts a guard up so no one can get in. Yet LORD over the last few years that guard or wall has been taken down. Its too much work to hold it up and I should never held it up anyway. You are doing alot in my heart right now. Its so much that I don't even know what to say...But LORD, you love me. Thank you for loving me.

A new year

Well its about 1/2 way thorough the 1st month of 2015! I just can't believe it! Life sure is going fast. I've been thinking about something that my pastor said to us last week at church when talking about the end of 2014 and looking ahead. Was 2014 about me or serving others? Well to be honest it was really about me. It was about grief and holding on to that pain. Holding on to grief brings me comfort. Sounds kinda comforting because holding on to that pain is much easier than letting go of that pain and going on to what GOD wants me to do. The reason I've held on to the grief is that I don't ever want to forget my mom. I know I never could. I realize that thorough some prayer and some soul-searching that I have been mad at GOD. Why did my mom have to suffer? Why gets you no-where. Then last night it hit me that nothing happens to me as a child of GOD without it going thru GOD 1st. And that hurts. Then the reality of the gospel hits me right in the heart. Who do I think that I am that I shouldn't have to go thorough pain and suffering? Some that I love have suffered and are suffering. GOD never said that there would be no pain or suffering. When in fact he said there would be pain and suffering. So over the last week or so, my prayer has been that he'd use this pain for his honor and glory. Then on January 1st a dear friend of mine passed away. She was like a mom to me. She is healed of that I know. Yet my heart was broken. It still is. Its hard to say goodbye but I know it won't be forever. I don't want to live my life about the pain but I desire to press on to what GOD has called me to do and be. What that is for 2015 I have no idea but I do know that he is faithful if I seek him and his ways. I desire for this year to be about others and not Laura. I want to be a better friend, daughter, sister, girl-friend and all the titles that I am about. But more than anything, I just want my life to be about GOD and serving those in my life he has called me to love and serve. Loving others isn't easy somtimes. It reveals in my heart how selfish that I really am. I am a sinner saved by his grace. So here I am on this road with my heavenly Father. Where he will lead me this year i don't know but thankful he's guiding me and holding me in the palm of his hand.

A new Normal

Grief is really a funny thing. There are days that its so hard to get out of the bed. I miss my mom every day. Thinking over things in my childhood and wondering why things happened as they did. However the longer my mom is gone the more I can think of those good times even though at the time it was a hard time. The last time my mom was on the ventilator(what helps you breathe when you can't on your own) was in Feb 2013. I remember walking into the room and seeing the look on my mom's face. Remembering those conversations with her and it brings about a tender place in my heart. Even though the last few years of my mom's life she was so ill physically, emotionally, and spiritually I will always cherish those times because I would do it over again to help care for my mom. I live far away from her but I helped to be sure she was cared for. I was limited to what I could do but I did the best I could. Something that has been so hard for me is that now I have no one to care for. I love taking care of people...guess that is why I am a nurse.

Peace

Well the end of 2014 is nearing the end...this year has brought about some change but some things are still the same.  Honestly, I'm in a dark place and I'm ok with that. I'm still walking thru the grief of loosing my mom, regret of what could have been, and just at stage of my heart with now what? During this time, God has showed his deep love for me thru times of special friendships, his word, and just walking thru this painful road I'm on. I know this post isn't one of Yipee joy but it's where I'm at. Just because I feel the way I do doesn't mean God isn't good because he is. My emotions aren't truth but God is. So still on  this journey with God and will be till my last breath and I'm holding on to my heavenly father's hand whatever that path may lead.

Damaged people

I'm doing a study with OBS with Proverbs 31 ministries and we're reading a book called the Limitless Life by Derwin Gray. This week's reading really has been wonderful because GOD in his love and mercy just showed me more of himself. I am sometimes amazed on how the Father shows his love to me.

Something that I am is a mess. Life is a mess. There are things in my past that well are messy and have been painful. Well they are still painful. Then in this week's reading really resonated with me when it said, " damaged people attract the heart of GOD". Boy do I feel damaged. Things happened to me as a child that should never have happened. I have made decisions that I didn't consult the LORD about and those consequences are still apart of my life to this day. I feel broken yet GOD sees me as his child, deeply loved. Life has been hard but it has for so many people that I know. Cause life is hard. Its full of stuff that could break you. Over the last few years have been hard for me. Loss, loss, and more loss. And I realize thorough the proding of the Holy Spirit in my life that I've been focused on that pain way too long. Its time to refocus. But I can't do this without him. He is the very breath that I breath but through him he makes all things beautiful in his time. When I look at myself, i see a messed up person. Yet when GOD looks at me he sees his beautiful daughter.. I love the prayer at the end of this chapter that is my prayer which says, " I am thankful that on the cross you took my damages and shame", I choose to worship you by seeing and believing that I am your trophy of grace:..


Isaiah 61: 1-3, " The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,  because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,  to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,  to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor  and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,  and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise  instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness,  a planting of the Lord   for the display of his splendor.

Emotional triggers

My " issues" with food began when I was 11 years old. I was molested by a cousin and grew up in a abusive environment that no child should ever be exposed to. Because of the pain and the hurt that had been hurled at me, I turned to food. It was my " friend". I'd go to at great lengths to hide my food and I'd eat late at night when I felt overwhelmed by the pain and I thought all I could do is eat. The thing is that I accepted Christ as my LORD and savior when I was a teenager. He had saved me from hell but I really didn't quite understand what to do with these emotions that I was feeling. I went to counseling to deal with these feelings in my early 20's but I still over-ate and went at great lengths to hide my food. I had friends and some family who loved me but there was a deep cavernous hole that food or anything could fill. For years I was in such pain but I worked at hiding the pain. I went to college became a nurse and worked very hard at being successful. I attended church, did bible studies, prayed, and on the outside it looked like I had it all together but it was just a façade. Then my mom died in May 2013. And I wanted to die too. I was tired of the pain. I cried and reached out to some friends. I became honest of what the struggle was. I began to get honest of the struggle and prayed to GOD like never before. During this process I started a diet plan but my heart hadn't changed. Then MTC study in January of 2014. Wow is all my heart can say. GOD is teaching me to go to him 1st before going to anything. Not food, friends only him. I am learning my emotional triggers that cause me to go to food than him. Its a process, I'm far from where I want to be but praise GOD I'm not where I was. This is because of the work of Christ in my life. So on those days that the pain is so strong and I want to go eat and try to hide the pain I go to the WORD. And I'm learning what I think about I become. I'm focusing on keeping my mind clean. GOD is changing me from the inside to the outside. So my word this week is beneficial. I'm remembering that just because I can eat food doesn't mean its beneficial for me. I remind myself is this for a physical need for food or am I trying to cope emotionally using food? Keeping my mind pure and clean takes work but thankful for the word and how GOD is doing his work in me.

Philippians 4:8, "  Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies".

Its pity party time!

I love parties! I really do...but this pity party not so much. My mom always said that when I had a pity party it was time to get off the pot! No one ever comes to the pity party and if they do more entanglement comes and more pain...This week has been one for me full of emotional drama. I just had a plain pity party for several days. I stayed on my plan for most of those days but i just cried, was upset cause i was just tired of dealing with this issue with food. In my mind I was like ok I have been thorough harder things than this? I mean? I overcame abuse of my childhood, rejection of friends and family, and the list goes on and on. I just thought of all the things that had happened to me in my life and especially the homegoing of my mama. I have been plain mad about it. I still don't understand it. I know that all things that happen GOD does use for my good. I have been trying to fix things in my own strength...and you know what happens, just plain ugly and a mess! I even had thought this week of why the struggle and why do i continue like this. To be honest, I had some thoughts of just ending it all. I've been tired of it. Tired of holding on to this weight of going to good than GOD. Tired of trying to control things that GOD never intended me to try to control. The issue of control has been something that GOD has been trying to get my attention on for some time. Like years and well this week I was just on my face when I couldn't go any furthur. I was honest with the LORD of where I am at. And what peace when I just let go. The truth is this...that GOD loves me just as i am but he doesn't want me to stay in this pit that i'm in. I'm learning that I've been trying to control things using my own strength and i know that is not GOD's plan. So again i place my hand in his hand. I know that I can't do this without him. I can't follow a plan to loose the weight and be where GOD wants me to be. I must follow GOD and let him guide what I do. I'm on a journey of eating healthy and what Satan would like to use to destroy me won't...for GOD is using this for my good and his glory.

Proverbs 3: 5-6, " Trust in the LORD with all your heart, Laura, and lean not on your own understanding( knowledge or even think you know what to do, don't trust knowledge but trust HIM), in all your ways( in everything,( or as Thelma Wells says it EVERY-THANG!)ACKNOWLEDGE( make it known who is in charge and in control and it aint you), HIM AND HE SHALL DIRECT YOUR PATHS"

Peace

#Peace. That is my word for this week in my bible study with Made to Crave. And to be honest, this week has been a hard one. I’ve been trying to get peace in my life for a long time. I never had a best friend per say( many good friends but not a real best friend). I always wanted that.  I always felt that I had to work for my parents to love me. My mom loved me but she had a hard time showing me that she loved me because of her own issues.   I always worked hard because I wanted to matter. I thought that if I just achieved something that my family would love me.  I did all this well until a few years ago when life just fell down. I couldn’t fake it anymore. I had to deal with the things of my past. And that has been so hard. So in my grief and pain of trying to deal with things I just put on the mask and carried on. Then in May 11, 2013 my mom passed away.  And all that I was holding on passed with her. I couldn’t act like everything was ok. I couldn’t laugh my way through another hard situation. The pain of my childhood of abuse and just total rough stuff I couldn’t stuff down. The longer you stuff it down it will bring its ugly head up and that is just what happened. However thorough bible study and counseling GOD is healing me. Then this bible study called Made to Crave came about and I started it a few weeks ago. I thought that “ I” had handled things but again the LORD showed me that he had some more work to do in my heart. So here I am before you. I just want peace. Peace from the pain of trying to fix things. Peace just from the hardships of life and learning how to accept them as they are. So this week, GOD has done something totally awesome in my life. Again I laid my eating, food consumption, going to others for comfort when that should be GOD’s place at his feet. I was on my face and just gave it to him. I wrote down every pain, every hurt that I was holding on to. And I burned them. Jesus Christ has paid the debt of every sin and I have no right to hold on to it anymore. No more faking it but being real with those who can be trusted and more importantly my LORD Jesus, my Abba Daddy. So yes peace is worth it. Peace of just knowing who is really in control of every aspect of my life. For me, peace is knowing that nothing tastes as good as peace is. My feelings or emotions may change but my GOD and his love for me is forever.  I desire to loose weight however my ultimate goal is to be closer to GOD every day than the day before….Also, Thank you to my FB group#44 for your love and support on this journey to being whole and healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Oh praise the name of the LORD.  

Isaiah 45:3, “ And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.

 

 

1 Peter 5:7-8a

The Scripture for this week in my study for Made to Crave is from 1 Peter 5: 7-8a. This week I focused on it from the message translation. It says, 1 Peter 5:7-11(The Message) So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.  Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does!

My focus for this study is craving GOD more than food. And this scripture hit me right in the heart to be honest. Something that the LORD has impressed upon my heart is the thought of contentment. There have been many situations in my life that have been hard from abuse and just some hard life stuff. It would be easy for me to blame those situations that could be the reason I am like I am but No MORE excuses( thank you Melissa and Nikki)! Contentment is being at peace where GOD has you meaning me. And that is hard. At this time in my life I'm going thorough some hard stuff. My mom passed away on May 11, 2013. And I've been living in that grief since that time. There are days that its just hard to even get up and there are days that I stay in my pj's cause its just too hard to do anything else. Yet this week, when I read be content with you are just hit me in my heart. Who I am right now I don't like but then I was reminded that who I am is a child of GOD, loved child of GOD, holy, blameless. So GOD spoke into my heart and I felt that he pressed this upon my heart stop focusing on the situations you don't like, you aren't identified with that but my identity and who I really am is in Jesus Christ!
Being content is knowing who you are and whose you are! Wow! So during this struggle of loving food more than GOD and learning the relase of that...I am learning to be content at this stage of my life. To be honest, its so hard. This week( like yesterday) , I was just overcome with the love that GOD has for me and how he is using this for his glory. So that I'd crave him more than anything else. It also says in this scripture to stay alert because more than anything Satan would like to just pounce on us because GOD is doing something BIG in my life. And I've felt that the last few weeks. Yet at the end of this scripture it says GOD WHO HAS GREAT PLANS FOR US IN CHRIST ETERNAL AND GLORIOUS PLANS WILL HAVE YOU PUT TOGETHER AND ON YOUR FEET FOR GOOD! So all this struggle of wanting food more than GOD and making unhealthy food choices GOD is using for his glory. When this journey is over I know that I won't be the same person that I once was. GOD is doing something big in my heart. So I'm focused on being content of who and whose I am, no need to pretend something that I'm not, and get this GOD's strong hand is on me. So I will continue to trust GOD when it gets hard and when the lies of the evil one I will replace with the truth of GOD's word. Pressing on for his glory!!

Permessible But not beneficial

 

In Christ there is great freedom. But with that freedom comes responsibility. As a Christian GOD has overcome great things in my life yet this struggle with food still has a hold on my heart and life. In 1 corinthians 6:12 it says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything". This is something that really hit me in the heart this week. My struggle with over-eating is what has lead me to be at the weight I am today. A few weeks ago before Christmas I weighed myself and I realized that I was at the same weight my mom was before she passed away. My mom was chronically ill for years and I know that her health was greatly caused by her obesity. I am at that place myself and to be honest it brought me to my knees. However I can’t stay there. Its time to get busy and take action. However this is something that I can’t do in my own strength. I have tried to overcome this in my own strength and power and what has happened is that I’ve gained 20-30 pound each year for the last 10 years or so. I have a head knowledge of what to do but its my heart that has been divided. This week has been one of my eyes opening up of the hold that food has over my life. To be honest, I've been on my knees and it great despair because it hits me of drained that this love has cost me. So again I place my hand in my Abba's hand and going to him to fill every place in my heart. I'm not there but I'm on a journey to wholeness in him alone!

Even though in Christ I am free to eat whatever I want because GOD has set me free its not for my good to overeat and consume high fat, sugars, and just eating an unhealthy diet. And I have been doing this my whole life. The reason is simple I’ve been going to food than GOD. However that pull is lessening because of what GOD is doing within my heart. I’m not there and not sure when this journey will be complete but what I do know is this…GOD is still working on me and my focus is him and having him total LORDSHIP of every area of my heart. Scary? Yes but in the end it will be worth the journey. Freedom in and through CHIRST is everything. I love him so and so thankful for my sisters in Christ who are with me on this journey!!

My word for week #1 of MTC

My favorite Scripture

I'm doing a bible study called made to crave with Proverbs 31 OBS. This week's blog I choose to write about is my favorite scripture and what it means to me. In the last few years I would have to say that it would be Isaiah 43: 1-2, " But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob,  he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;  I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters,  I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,  they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,  you will not be burned;  the flames will not set you ablaze.

The reason this verse means so much to me is that the LORD and I have gone through some really tough stuff not just life but just some difficult things. I have wondered many times during these hardships from the death of those that I love, the abuse of my childhood, and just some hard stuff in how could GOD redeem such evil? Now I'm not talking about death per say cause when its your time its your time and if you are a Christian then its really a blessing! But for me GOD is showing me how he has redeem and will redeem some evil things that happened to me. He used it in my life to draw me closer to him. Satan may have thought that it was for evil but GOD has used it for me good. It wasn't his plan for this evil to happen to me but I believe in my very being that GOD used and is using it for his glory! Presently, I am walking through the valley of loosing my mom. There are days that I just can't even get my body out of bed. I have often thought these last 8 months since my mom passed that this is going to kill me. I have had thoughts of why the struggle and I just wanted to give up. Just being real here....Yet this verse has remained strong in my heart and its really engraved there. So I hold on to the promise of that these waters won't drown me and even though walking through this present " fire" I won't be burned. I think about in Daniel chapter 3, that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused the king's edict to bow to his idol, and continued to worship God. As a result, they were thrown into a fiery furnace heated seven times hotter than normal. But God delivered them so completely from this ordeal that they didn't even smell like smoke! He even showed up with them in the fire! This is such encouragement to me. I'm still struggling and I'm not there at all but GOD is doing his thing in my heart. Its a daily thing where I have to meet with him and being with my heavenly Father is so important to me.

Thank you Proverbs 31 OBS for your ministry! Hope to see my sisters in Christ as we embark on this new study Made to Crave! God has big things in store for us!

Enough

This week I am finishing up a bible study by Renee Swope called a Confident heart with Proverbs 31-OBS. This study has been wonderful. When this study began I was in such emotional pain of loosing my mama who passed away on May 11, 2013. The grief and pain of my heart was so great. There were so many days that I just didn't know if I could make another day.  But GOD in his grace and mercy brought about a group of ladies in my #44 OBS group and this group has been so encouraging to my faith. Just had to give a shout out to my group and my leader, Mary Bankert!

My #enough statements for this study are....

1) I suffered much emotional, physical, and sexual abuse during my childhood which affected my emotional wellbeing but only thru Jesus Christ am I whole! He is enough for me! He heals those empty places that life has tried to destroy but Jesus Christ is my Conqueror! I am not there but GOD in his mercy is healing my broken heart. What Satan tried to destroy me, GOD is using the pain of my childhood for his glory. It wasn't his plan for me to have such pain to deal with but GOD is using that to help other women in similar situations that GOD is simply enough.

2) Often I feel that I'm not enough as a sister, daughter, friend but thru Christ is my only identity and thru him am I enough. He heals those broken places. I'm struggling that the pain of loosing my mama and that place that feels so open since her home-going but Jesus is enough and all I need to fill those empty places. I miss my mama and to be honest there are days that the loss of my mama is so vast but GOD is enough to heal my broken heart. So when Satan tries to tell me that I'm not enough and I'll never measure up. And I'll just say Oh I know I'll never measure up but thru Jesus Christ I am enough. Thru him I am whole.

So whatever life hands my way I can honestly say that HE IS enough. He is and always will be my strength. I love you LORD. And I thank you for the ladies in this group and online that we are on a journey to becoming what you would have us me. Confident woman for your honor and glory. LORD Jesus, we love you.

Place of surrender

Surrender is not a word that I like. I like to be in control. I am a control freak. By nature, I like to control things in my environment. I am a nurse and I am used to controling things to help my patients in critical and life saving situations. I grew up in a abusive situation. Things happened to me in my childhood that should never happen to a child. I held on to that pain for many years. I thought that I had things under control but it was me trying to do the work that GOD should do and its place in my life. I chose wrong friends and relationships. I was angry for many years because of the things that happened to me as a child. Due to the pain of my childhood, I took on the role of acting like I was in control and what I did to get my education and later on becoming a nurse. I thought in my mind that it was me that did the work. Then life happened. My mom got very sick over the last 10 years and I got overwhelmed with life. I just quit praying, I did bible study because its the thing you do when you are a Christian. Yet over the last 6 months since my mom passed away I was brought to my knees. I have been on my face since the loss of my mom. I miss her terribly. There are days that I feel I failed her because of how life happened for her. I realize that death is apart of life. As I deal with the grief of my mom GOD has renewed the joy of my salvation. This process hasn't been easy. I had to be brought to my knees due to the situations of dealing with some big life situations and GOD did business in my heart. He removed the labels of me trying to control things that were under his control anyway. I admitted every failure that I felt in my heart, some things I caused and some things I didn't cause. I just got real with myself. During this time of grief with the loss of my mom( I am still going thru it) . GOD reminded me of a truth that I needed to be reminded of . When I have needs that I am not allowing GOD to fill I am like I'm holding a cup and going from one person to another to fill it. I go to my friends, family, and whoever I think will fill my cup. And when I do this, I end up empty. However GOD is teaching me and still working in my heart that he will fill me and he does. The peace he gives is something that nothing ever can compare in comparsion.  So its a daily place of surrender to GOD and his plan and not Laura's. I'm not there but just apart of my journey and so glad to be with some many sister's in Christ who are in this journey with me. I love you all so much.

Psalm 42, "  As a deer pants for flowing streams,   so pants my soul for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God,  for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?
 My tears have been my food  day and night, while they say to me all the day long,
“Where is your God? These things I remember,  as I pour out my soul:
how I would go with the throng  and lead them in procession to the house of God
with glad shouts and songs of praise,  a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,  and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,  my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;  therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.  Deep calls to deep  at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves   have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,   a prayer to the God of my life.
 I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning  because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As with a deadly wound in my bones,     my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me all the day long,   “Where is your God?”

Why are you cast down, O my soul,     and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,     my salvation and my God" .

Been there, done that LOVED it!

Just writing this post brings such joy to my life! I found out about OBS bible studies thorough facebook this past year. My first bible study with P31 ministries was Stressed Less Living. It was simply amazing. My life was never the same! I met some wonderful sisters in Christ and GOD showed up amazingly in my life. During my 1st bible study called Stressed Less Living my mama passed away. I was overcome with emotion and everyone in my group #44 was so amazing. Full of love. This is what the body of Christ is about. Some of the ladies from #44 I am still friends to this day. I am so excited about what GOD has in store thorough this next study, A confident Heart By Renee Swope. Can't wait to see what GOD has in store for us all.  Finally, as I close this blog post for today I must give a shout out to my leader, Mary Bankert in #44. She is so sweet and just a sweet aroma of Christ! Love my group #44!!

With ALL my heart

I'm starting a bible study with an online group of women soon with Proverbs 31 ministries. The study is by Lysa TerKeurst and its called when Women say Yes to GOD. This is our 1st week and its already amazing. Its life changing. Why you ask? Because its GOD and his word. Its his word that is the balm for my weary heart. Its him who I go to when I need him but more recently just re-learning the lesson of just basking in his presence just for who he is. There are so many things in my walk with Christ that I desire. Those things include being authentic, having the faith to just trust him no matter what is going on around me. The list is quite long and overwhelming at times. To be honest, I just need him. Its for this reason that there are times that I just can't sleep. I am tossing and turning and just wondering why. And some of the sweetest times has been just me and the LORD in the early morning with me in his word, my coffee, and its been such a sweet time. There are so many things that call for our attention as women from our families, friends, children, and just plain life calls for our focus. Something that really caught my attention in the reading was this, " you simply have to surrender all that's clamoring for attention in your heart with the answer GOD is longing to hear spill from your lips, " YES GOD". Finally a simply prayer that Lysa wrote in this first chapter was this.....GOD, I want to see you. GOD I want to hear you, GOD I want to know you. GOD, I want to follow hard after you. And even before I know what I will face today, I say yes to you. This is my prayer and I pray that it will continue to be. My mind goes to the song I remember as a youth, LORD I'm keeping my eyes on you, following you, following you my LORD. LORD I'm keeping my eyes on you, following you, following you my LORD. I won't look to the left or right, my only goal is keeping you in my sight.  LORD, I'm keeping my eyes on you and I'm following you, following you....

The focus verse for this week is Deuteronomy 6:5(NLT)

 

 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.

God's story

I'm trying to blog more and since doing so it has been very liberating. Its not really for anyone in particular why I blog but I started blogging back in 2007 as I way to express my feelings and its a way to put into words what is on my heart or what GOD is doing in my heart.

I read many blogs of people that I've "met" and their story is quite inspiring. However when I think about my story I think that its boring cause I think its not interesting but my story is GOD's story. And its still being written. My journey with Christ began when I was a young teen. I grew up in church and for that I am so thankful. I went to youth camp and I remember the year I accepted Jesus Christ as my LORD and Saviour. I was 14 years old. I recommitted my life to Christ in 2001. To say that its been " smooth sailing" would be a lie but my journey with Christ has been one of highs and lows and I know that is true for many of us. Right now to be honest is one of the lowest times in my life. I wish that it was different but loosing my Mama has been something so hard on so many levels. Also on another personal issue GOD is peeling back layers that I thought we're peeled back enough if you know what I mean. GOD has a way of reminding me that some things in life need to be dealt with and without going into many details right now. He's doing that.  Yet even as it has been so hard GOD's peace has surrounded my life in more ways that I can ever adequately explain. At night when I am about to close my eyes my mind usually goes to my mom. Its when I finally slow down that the grief that my mama is gone hits so hard and its during these times that I cry out to the LORD. That is the way its supposed to be. I grieve though that it breaks my heart that this situation has brought me to my knees. I had prayed a few months ago that GOD would really align my heart for his. I've gone thorough some really difficult situations that I had just tuned out. I was going through the motions but my heart really wasn't it in. Now I'm at a place that I'm very tender to the LORD and his work in my life. I realize that this season of my heart-broken heart isn't forever and my prayer is that when this season of life has passed that not only am I not the same but that my heart is tender toward the LORD. I don't ever want to get over what GOD does in my life as I stay connected to his word and prayer.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8 (ESV)

Life goes on they say

Its been over a month since the passing of my mom and the last month has been harder than I ever could imagine. I have thought of many things about my mom since she passed away. How do you go on when someone you love has passed on. The truth is that life goes on but you are really never the same. You love them and always will but what I'm learning is a new normal. My mom and I walked thru some really difficult times and some of that is private and personal. What has held me during these days and will continue is my faith in the LORD JESUS Christ. Not in friendships of which I am so grateful for but God's peace in the midst of this very difficult valley that I'm presently walking in. When you grieve you can try to by-pass it but for me GOD has called me to walk thru this valley. So many scriptures have been given to me yet one of my favorite scriptures is from Isaiah 43:1-2 which says, "  But now, this is what the Lord says—  he who created you, Jacob,  he who formed you, Israel: "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;  I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters,  I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,  you will not be burned;  the flames will not set you ablaze.

To be honest after the initial passing of my mom I was simply afraid. I have dealt with anxiety and depression for a long time. Its been my thorn in the flesh because of just some life experiences. However this fear and anxiety is something that has hit me at the very core. However a promise that GOD has given me is his redemption. He will redeem this. He will, his word says so. How will this and just life and its hardships be redeemed in my life? To be honest, I have no idea. But what I know and believe is this. That I am God's child, he is mine. He has called me by name. With whatever I go thru GOD is with me and within me. That truth is totally amazing. I have been a Christian for a long time yet in these times of hardships and trying to go on with life to know that in the depth of my pain that  GOD is here. He has never left my side. I have been unfaithful to him in times past. Yet he has always  been faithful. No matter what comes in life it won't overturn me, I won't be burned. I will never be the same. I may be different because of this but GOD is working all this out for his good and his glory. Oh praise him. I love you LORD. I am yours.

My Mama

My mom passed away last week and this week has been one of the hardest one of my life. My mom had been ill for a long time yet it still caught me off guard for she was really doing much better. Yet praise GOD she is healed! The 1st thing that hit me right after I received the news and could compose myself is that when she woke up in heaven that she could walk and was free! Her mind was clear with no anxiety, no pain. She no longer needed medication for GOD had healed her. This journey that I'm as well as my family are walking thorough are hard and overwhelming but GOD hasn't left my side. I am his. I am in the palm of his hand. This did not catch him off guard. And during this pain GOD is right here.


Isaiah 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,   they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,  you will not be burned;  the flames will not set you ablaze.

Running

Going over my blog tonight and I can see the change in my heart over the last few years. It was a gradual change and seeing how I am not where I want to be in my relationship with Christ has simply slayed me today...yet reading over some verses and being in the word today just revived me. You can't look back, you press on. Holding on to my verse that says, " I am the Lord, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides me. I am the Lord, and there is no other. Isaiah 45:5-6 NIV..

I can say with 100% certanity that he is my strength......and I'm looking forward to what he has in store for me this year. I am doing the bible study by Priscilla Shrier on the book of Jonah...Just what GOD wanted me to do. I've run from him..Not any more...Praying as my heart is tender and praying that he'd keep it that way...Not sure what he would have me do but I know he has a plan...just don't know what it is yet. Still seeking him....I love you LORD, my Abba Daddy. Thank you for being forever faithful. 

What's up!

I haven't blogged in several months now but feeling the urge to blog once again. My blog has never been about others reading my blog for I know its quite limited in that but just my journey and if its a encouragment to some then that's fabulous! Every January there are always those resolutions that come around from looosing weight but this year is totally something else. This year I want to just be faithful to what GOD wants me to be. Not based on my emotions or what is going on around me but just faithful as he is. I can never be like GOD but my desire is to what he'd have me be. I am memorizing scripture not because everyone is or its the thing to do but I want GOD's word in my heart. It says in Psalms  119:11, I have hidden his (God's Word) in that I may not sin against thee..I may make wrong decisions or say the wrong things because what is on my heart is not GOD and his word. God is working on me with this. I am more aware of what I think about, what I watch and I want my life to be pure to him by what I say, watch, etc.....So my verse for the next two weeks are from Isaiah which is one of my favorite books which says, 

"I am the Lord, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me, so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting people may know there is none besides me. I am the Lord, and there is no other. " Isaiah 45:5-6 NIV

That same old lesson

My church that I attend is going thru a time of transition and it has been for the last few years..I am teaching the youth at my church and we have 3-4 youth on Wednesday night that come for bible study. I am totally not comfortable at teaching cause youth so scare me! I am teaching though because there is no one else that will and its a need in my church right now. Part of the lesson last night was about the old testament and the law, etc. The youth asked some hard questions and I did answer them in a way that they could understand...yet some of those questions are still in my heart today. The youth of today are exposed to things that I wasn't exposed to as a teenager and if so i wasn't aware of them. Even though I feel so inadequate to teach them my prayer is that GOD would use my words to speak into the lives of these youth as he sees fit..

Where to go

When I look back over the last few years it seems that the same issues come up time and time again but just in different pictures...For me, its about who am I going to trust? I say with my mouth that I trust GOD however my actions sometimes say a different thing. I just want my life of what I say I believe and what I do be the same. I desire to be authentic in my relationships and in every area of my life. Do I fall short? Of course every day. There are days that there are victories and then there are those days that I just have to pick myself up and go on. However its not me who does the picking up but its GOD. He is teaching me the lesson of letting go and pressing on. Its time to press on for GOD has great things in store for me. I know that for sure. So again every day I place my hand in my Abba's hand and follow him as he leads me in the way that I'm to go. I go back to one of my favorite verses that says from Proverbs 3:5-6, " Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, but in all thy ways acknowledge him". With my heart it can be lead astray by being distracted on things I can't change, my emotions can fail me if I trust in them alone but GOD has never ever failed me. My understanding in who I know GOD to be from my relationship with him and thorough his WORD, and finally in all my ways acknowledge him. Acknowledge him by following him and that's what I indend to do....

What is seen

When I look at myself these days...I don't like what I see. That is being honest. I am so fat. I am wearing clothes now that I swore I would never wear and here I am. This is more than a physical problem, its a spiritual one simply. I have gone to food to fill me that GOD. Simply that is the reason. It matters I know what food I eat but its more than....its what I am going to fill me. I am not just sorry I got caught by this...but I want to be different. This is something that I can't do GOD has to do this. I must surrender. And that is my heart's cry tonight. I feel like I'm in a pit that I don't know how to crawl out of sometimes....LORD help me. I know he will, he is faithful. He hasn't left me. And I am crying out to him. My memory verse right now is Psalm 18: 30-36 which says, "  As for God, his way is perfect:  The Lord’s word is flawless;   he shields all who take refuge in him.For who is God besides the Lord?  And who is the Rock except our God?It is God who arms me with strength  and keeps my way secure.  He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;  he causes me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me; your help has made me great.You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.

Joy

I was talking with someone today and something that really spoke into my spirit was JOY. Thinking back to when things were so different between the LORD and I. I had real joy, not happiness but joy. Joy is faith based, not based on things around you but on how GOOD GOD is...However the last few years for me have been frankley HARD. I have drifted away from the LORD. He has not left me but I left him. I forsake praying and reading my bible as I should. I would do it to mark it off the list cause that is what a " GOOD" christian does but I felt so disconnected from the LORD. Then I just had to get on my face before the LORD and lay it all out there. He knew about it anyway but doing so reminded me of what I had been doing. There are times during the night that I turn in my sleep and dispair fills my heart yet GOD reminds me that he is here, watching me as I sleep...And that gives me joy simply. And that so fills me with such joy.

My Abba and I

Going back over the last few months ok the last two years I have been very inconstient on many things in my life. Its been a battle on so many levels for me from financial, personal, and the most signifiant spiritual. In times past there never would have been a time in my life that I would go without prayer, spending time in the word however that is not so right now. And there are so many areas of my life that I know there is a direct correlation between the two. I know what is the thing to do but I am honestly struggling here. There is a disconnect between the LORD and myself and its me that has been disconnected because he has or never leave me. So how do I get back to how things used to be? I have tried in my own power to do so and well that hasn't worked out as I'd like. Cause it was this power hungry girl trying to do so...Maybe power hungry isn't the word but this control freak, prideful girl can't do it anymore on her own. So last night while going to sleep I just prayed. I layed it all out before him. I didn't get my Beth Moore bible study out, my journal or anything like that...I just talked to my Daddy. That is what he has wanted all along. For me, I like things in order and I like to know the PLAN however that is often not GOD's way....he just wants me for its all about relationship with him...Now I am going to finish the Beth Moore Bible study that I'm doing, writing in my journal again, but I'm determined to stay focused on my relationship with him and what he'd have me do...

Helpless

This is how my heart is feeling tonight...Oh how I need you, LORD!

I wasn't created to live this life alone
Made for Your glory I am not my own
Lord Your strength is made perfect in me
So I'll boast in the weakness I see

I am helpless helpless
And my heart is crying out for You
Jesus without Your presence
There is nothing I can do
I'm helpless without You

Lord in myself I am not enough
I need Your Spirit fill me with Your love
All I am and all that I do
Means nothing at all without You

Here

Over the past few years I have endured some real hardships. Some of my friends know about and some have been just between the LORD and I. To be honest, I have noticed a big change in my relationship with the LORD and I do know the reason for it. Frankley, I have just allowed situations to just totally rule my life. I've been on my face literally over the last few weeks and just not knowing what to do..I'm praying for a breakthorough and tonight it hit me right in the eyes...I've been trying to solve these problems in my own power. Thinking that I'm in control for I'm a control freak like that. I can come up with all kinds of terms to try to validate my reason for why I feel like I do but its just pure sin. I have much more that I could say on this but keeping those thoughts close to my heart.
LORD, I love you...You are mine and just know LORD of my love for you. Thank you for being faithful and loving me just the same.

My idol

I have started this blog several times in my head today..really struggling with this idol called FOOD. Food is for nourishment but its been my idol, my god( it aint the real one, I know)! I have turned to it to whatever I'm feeling. I can come up with reasons for doing so but at the end of the day its still sin, glutony. There is no difference of sin in GOD's eyes and I so know that. I have tried so many things to loose weight but I still go to food for comfort, when I am happy or sad, or just eat cause its there. In my mind today I've really tried to find ways in which to change this and that is the problem...I have been doing this thorough my power. I really need some delieverance here..Please if you read this blog please don't share with whatever has worked for you cause that really isn't the problem its about who I serve and its been my stomach and not GOD. I'm starting a bible study by Beth Moore this week on the study of James and I'm want to memorize the book of James....So here is Chapter one....

James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

New Beginnings

I haven't blogged in several months and that's for several reasons.....my new focus is really spending the time with the LORD as I should in prayer and in bible study. Not because its a new year but because its what I need. I need to hear from him, worship him...frankley i've been focusing on me, myself, and me again. I desire to stop being selfish. Just being honest and real hear. I'm excited to what GOD has in store for me. It will be a journey for sure. Excited to what GOD has in store for all of us. I'll be blogging very soon about this and the change that GOD will place within me.

What really nourishes me....

I've struggled for like forever with FOOD. I'll be honest I love food. I love pure junk from potatoe chips to things that I know aren't bad for me. So what do I go to for comfort? Well for a long time its been food. And that totally sickens me! I so want this love for food not to be what it is. I want to only put in my mouth what is healthy and make better decisions...So that is my prayer tonight that GOD would just totally change me. I so want him more than food! I want my heart right. I know that I'm not alone here and I pray for us all as we seek the LORD to what he'd have us to be. Wanting him more than anything else. I not only want to be thinner physically but I want to be nourished by what I know truely satisifies and that isn't food I know. I'm trying to be real with my journey here...for only when you are honest can you truely begin for healing to begin.

Just five minutes

I was encouraged by the blog http://thegypsymama.com/ to do this! On Fridays we stop, drop, and write.For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. So here I go....

I am single, and there are days that I love being single and then there are days that I'm just afraid of being alone. I know that GOD is always with me and he has never left me but it would be nice to have someone at home when I got there. I have my dog Brownie of which I love dearly but there are those times that I'd love to be married. If I am honest the secret desire of my heart is to be married and have a family. However that hasn't been in the cards for me. I have asked the question why am I not pretty enough or am I just too fat however I am just waiting on GOD and knowing that his best is always right. So I've been honest with my feelings and boy is that scary!

#200!!

Well this is my 200th post on my blog today! I started my blog back in 2007 just to journal my life and things that GOD was teaching me..Over the last few days I've looked at some of my posts and frankley it made me kinda sad. Some of the same issues I'm still dealing with but just on another level. Basically its about control and whom I am going to trust. It comes in different areas or situations but for me that is my struggle. I'm just being real about it. Over the last few years my relationship with the LORD is not what I wish it was. I've allowed life to just get in the way. I've placed my dependence on those situations and how some things don't change when GOD is calling me to just trust him. Trusting him not on what I can see for that will deceive you but trusting him on just who he is. Something that GOD is teaching me and reminding me is just of how good he really is. Focusing on that precious truth is really changing my mindset and that is the desire of my heart. I want to be exactly who GOD wants me to be..he's the desire of my heart. I do love him and I do fail him. So that is my blog. It shows the ups and downs and I pray it shows of my love for him in the midst of what life has in store for us all as I continue to seek him.

I'm not the same

I am not the same person that I once was! 1st of all, life experiences have caused me to be on my face before him. Life is plain hard and sometimes isn't fair! However a lesson that GOD has retaught a lesson to me is that he is always good. He is really all that I need. I'm in a journey right now that is just plain hard and there are days that I don't know how I'm going to make it but I can attest that GOD is exactly who he says he is. He's faithful when I am not, he is long suffering when I want to throw in the towel. Today its raining here and my precious BB always hides when the storms come and I thought how much am I like him! When the storms of life come what do I do? I'd like to get on the couch with a good book and wish the problems away but that isn't realistic. So what do I do? I pray and put on my big girl panties and knowing that GOD will give me the mercy and strength that I need. He's all I need and that's my heart today. I'm not the person that I once was but praise GOD I'm not the person that GOD is forming me into..and this process will continue until he takes me home!


Psalm 91:" Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra;you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Just thru a journey

Right now my life is about just going thorough a personal journey that is hard yet GOD has been so good to me. Its amazing to me that during some of the hardest times of my life GOD's presence has never been so strong to me. So that's why I haven't been blogging alot lately and I'm preparing to be able to share in some time what's he teaching me. May we all be found to be in THE word seeking him to what he'd all have us be. Love to all.

Storms

Well here in North Florida hurricane Irene may be heading our way but the LORD spoke to me this morning and how this can apply to my life. Kinda neat how GOD does that.....When the 1st bit of rain comes my dog will run and hide and what this mommy wants to do and which she often does is grab him and hold him cause he's afraid. When the storms hit my life what do I do? I tend to want to be by myself and turn inwards. I make decisions or say things that I should not and well GOD is teaching me thru these times that not only is he here but this really is a time for the world to see what a Christian does when things don't go my way. Often things don't go my way....and I really have no right to complain when they don't. I'm blessed much more than I deserve and when things happen that I don't like or understand GOD wants me to know something or to teach me a lesson....So he's teaching me to be still and be quiet....One of my favorite verses and something that I've been holding on is Psalm 91:4...Under his wings you will find refuge.... So whatever we may be facing ahead its gonna be alright. I have no idea how things will pan out but GOD is good and his faithfulness is never ending.

Thoughts

I am in the midst of alot right now. Issues, difficulties, and just living life. Is it hard? Yea but it is good too. GOD is bringing to a place of just being grateful for where I am and not where I am going to be. Where that place is who knows but that is where my heart is...Today has been a day that words have so pentrated my heart by words spoken and by words not spoken. I made on facebook about it today and I was encouraged to go to the word and duh its the 1st place that I should go. 2 Cor 10:5...We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. So whatever we may be facing or thinking right now may we set it up against the Word of GOD and make every thought obedient to Christ. So let's press on to do what we've been called to do. Love to my blogging friends!