Emotional triggers

My " issues" with food began when I was 11 years old. I was molested by a cousin and grew up in a abusive environment that no child should ever be exposed to. Because of the pain and the hurt that had been hurled at me, I turned to food. It was my " friend". I'd go to at great lengths to hide my food and I'd eat late at night when I felt overwhelmed by the pain and I thought all I could do is eat. The thing is that I accepted Christ as my LORD and savior when I was a teenager. He had saved me from hell but I really didn't quite understand what to do with these emotions that I was feeling. I went to counseling to deal with these feelings in my early 20's but I still over-ate and went at great lengths to hide my food. I had friends and some family who loved me but there was a deep cavernous hole that food or anything could fill. For years I was in such pain but I worked at hiding the pain. I went to college became a nurse and worked very hard at being successful. I attended church, did bible studies, prayed, and on the outside it looked like I had it all together but it was just a façade. Then my mom died in May 2013. And I wanted to die too. I was tired of the pain. I cried and reached out to some friends. I became honest of what the struggle was. I began to get honest of the struggle and prayed to GOD like never before. During this process I started a diet plan but my heart hadn't changed. Then MTC study in January of 2014. Wow is all my heart can say. GOD is teaching me to go to him 1st before going to anything. Not food, friends only him. I am learning my emotional triggers that cause me to go to food than him. Its a process, I'm far from where I want to be but praise GOD I'm not where I was. This is because of the work of Christ in my life. So on those days that the pain is so strong and I want to go eat and try to hide the pain I go to the WORD. And I'm learning what I think about I become. I'm focusing on keeping my mind clean. GOD is changing me from the inside to the outside. So my word this week is beneficial. I'm remembering that just because I can eat food doesn't mean its beneficial for me. I remind myself is this for a physical need for food or am I trying to cope emotionally using food? Keeping my mind pure and clean takes work but thankful for the word and how GOD is doing his work in me.

Philippians 4:8, "  Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies".