A new Normal

Grief is really a funny thing. There are days that its so hard to get out of the bed. I miss my mom every day. Thinking over things in my childhood and wondering why things happened as they did. However the longer my mom is gone the more I can think of those good times even though at the time it was a hard time. The last time my mom was on the ventilator(what helps you breathe when you can't on your own) was in Feb 2013. I remember walking into the room and seeing the look on my mom's face. Remembering those conversations with her and it brings about a tender place in my heart. Even though the last few years of my mom's life she was so ill physically, emotionally, and spiritually I will always cherish those times because I would do it over again to help care for my mom. I live far away from her but I helped to be sure she was cared for. I was limited to what I could do but I did the best I could. Something that has been so hard for me is that now I have no one to care for. I love taking care of people...guess that is why I am a nurse.