Where I've been

These last few months have been very hard. Personal and family drama that has hurt me to the core. It brought me to my knees and yet thorough of all this you would think that the LORD and I would be in sync somehow. But so not the case. Be aware that this blog today is very real..no " Sunday School answers". So often we just say the right things or I should say I say the right things and yet my heart is screaming something else! Right now its screaming many things..From like what were you thinking to ok LORD I'm here..What ya going to do about this? The LORD and I have this real relationship and yet my heart is hurting. At 1st when things " fell apart" in my family I was very MAD! Then I decided in how I could make things better and let me tell you that did not go to pretty..When Laura gets on the throne well things get messy! I then just said ok I am just going to be quiet and not even talk to the LORD about it. It was one of the most depressing and quiet times in my life. Now I was living life..I was reading my bible but just to say that I did so. I did not even pray for I did not know what to even say. But now again I'm at this place that I don't understand..I need some guidance from the LORD and I am waiting for direction. So GOD called me to get real about this situation..So I did. I cried out to him and I know he has heard my cry. Knowing this to the core of my soul has not made this all better but it has brought peace to my heart. I'm vulnerable in my heart right now and frankley its a scary place for this control freak to be. However its where exactly he wants me. This scripture from Psalm 103 has been my focus over the last few days where the LORD was breaking me over something. Even though things may seem to be up in the air they are exactly where GOD would have them. He again is doing a new thang in my heart. Is it hard? Is it scary? You bet but I can say this with assurance there is no place I'd rather be than in my Father's hand..I'm holding on and rest assured he's leading the way. There are days that I have no idea where I'm going but I know and believe whose leading me. For me there is no other way for me to follow..He's got this! I'm holding on and walking with him. He is my everything and I thank him for reminding me of this precious truth!

Ps 103:1-5, 8-22
Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's...The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children,
the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; or he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children- with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts. The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will. Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, O my soul.