This week has been a busy one for me. I have said goodbye to a loved one and then my daddy has been in the hospital. He is doing much better and thanks for all your prayers.
In other news, my heart is at a place that I really don't know how to even explain. I am dealing with some things that I can't even talk about right now but GOD knows and that is ok. I am really seeking him and just wanting to know what he wants me to know about him and learn more about him.
I admit that these last few weeks I haven't been spending time with the LORD as I should. I have been overwhelmed with so many things that I just did not make the time to spend with him and well my life has seen the difference. The LORD reallly got my attention this week in reminding me what the main thing and that is him. Instead of looking at things from his persepctive its been all about me. Then by just being in his presence and really seeking him the last few days that he again is teaching me that the basis for alot of my attitudes about some things is based upon fear. I know who is the author of fear and it aint my GOD. I am fearful of so many things from insecurity to wondering about being alone and it goes on and on. Even when I type these words I wonder what will people think of me? You know what? I am really tired of wearing the mask and well I just want to be real. Not just to those I love but to my GOD. So again I lay myself at my GOD's feet and just basking in his presence. I so need him so much. He is my everything. I thank him for always being faithful even when I am not.
So being real is my focus right now. Not on me and my stuff but just being open before the LORD. Wanting him to be in every part of my life. Asking him to change me as he desires and that my will to be aligned to his perfect will for me. That is my heart's desire. I love him and so glad that he loves me.
1 comment:
Hi, I found your blog through Sheryl at the Perch.
This post really hit home with me, I'm trying to take the mask off and just be real with people without being afraid of getting hurt or rejection.
Sometimes I think I try to wear the mask with God, with is crazy because He sees right through that.
I'm so sorry about your friend Mary, I have lost many close to me and know how hard it is. I will keep you and her family in my prayers.
I have started a new blog recently, documenting my journey of just getting closer to God, taking off the mask and looking back at where I have come through and where I want to go.
Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble on. I will definitly be back to check out your blog and see how you are doing.
Kiesha
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