Where I am

To begin with, when I started my blog in 2007 I determined that I would be real about my life and what I would say. I have really struggled over the last few days of what to say when in my heart I can even put into words.

My heart has been so heavy over the last week or so. For those who don't know my dad was laid off in November and he and my mom are really having it rough as well as many other Americans as well. My mom has MS and they both have physical illness'. For me to see my parents hurting is really the hardest thing that I can even imagine. I want to make it all better but in this situation there is nothing that I can do. Then those feelings of desperation and wondering how things are going to go. The more I worried about this situation the more desperate I began to feel. Then I just cried out to my GOD and just laid it out there. I in so many words said I don't understand this and well you got to take over! Well, duh! I have been trying to find ways to make things better for my parents when there is nothing that I can do. Then I just got into the WORD and really have been just in that place. Just because I am more focused on the LORD and his word has not made things so called better but what it has done is reaffirmed in my heart what this journey is all about. My faith is in him. He knows best. He is going to work it out. So, what am I going to do. I am holding on to my GOD very tight, I am not letting go! What I do know is that GOD is GOD and he is on the throne. He can see beyond what I can see. For his thoughts are not my thoughts. He knows best. But again this is not easy but this is a season in my life that the rubber meets the road as they say. So, I place my hand in his hand. And well he is leading the way. His WORD is truely what lights my way.
To be in a place that I am desperate for him is a good place to be. I don't want to ever get over all that my GOD has done. So my heart would be that as GOD reveals himself to me and that he would be glorified!