Knowing him

Ok, I am in my 2nd week of doing the Esther Study by Beth Moore. I am so excited about this study but it goes beyond that. My desire would be not to just understand this story because the story of Esther is so interesting. Something in last week's video session that has had me thinking all week is that our past is our past. But its thorough our past that our destiny is woven thorough. For some time, there are things about my past that well I would love to forget. The pain of my past is something that I don't think about every day but its there. There is no need to talk about that pain of my past but I will say this. My childhood was filled with some hardships and pain that I can't even talk about at times but it was thorough this time that I was so desperate for relief that what I reached out was GOD. It was a long time after my childhood was over that this happened to me. I remember the pit that I was in. I remember the pain of it and some memories come to my heart on days that I wonder for a short time what would the reason be for it. The pit that I was in happened for several reasons but it was my GOD who resuced me. It was him that was the only lifter of my head when I could not even breathe. It was him who has called me for HIS purpose. So now I am at a time in my life that I want my life to make a difference. I want to be able to be a blessing to those who are in pain. I know the pit and I have been rescued by it! So, that is where I am at.
So, this bible study about Esther is going to change my life, that is my prayer. Every bible study that I have done has changed my life and I know this will be the same. However, I just don't want to do a bible study to do one. I am in bible study for the only reason so that I can know him. I am in this journey to know him.
So, this is my journey right now. I may think I know things but what I want to know is him, only him!

Psalm 27:4( Amplified Version)
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and [insistently] require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty [the sweet attractiveness and the delightful loveliness] of the Lord and to meditate, consider, and inquire in His temple.