My Abba and I

Going back over the last few months ok the last two years I have been very inconstient on many things in my life. Its been a battle on so many levels for me from financial, personal, and the most signifiant spiritual. In times past there never would have been a time in my life that I would go without prayer, spending time in the word however that is not so right now. And there are so many areas of my life that I know there is a direct correlation between the two. I know what is the thing to do but I am honestly struggling here. There is a disconnect between the LORD and myself and its me that has been disconnected because he has or never leave me. So how do I get back to how things used to be? I have tried in my own power to do so and well that hasn't worked out as I'd like. Cause it was this power hungry girl trying to do so...Maybe power hungry isn't the word but this control freak, prideful girl can't do it anymore on her own. So last night while going to sleep I just prayed. I layed it all out before him. I didn't get my Beth Moore bible study out, my journal or anything like that...I just talked to my Daddy. That is what he has wanted all along. For me, I like things in order and I like to know the PLAN however that is often not GOD's way....he just wants me for its all about relationship with him...Now I am going to finish the Beth Moore Bible study that I'm doing, writing in my journal again, but I'm determined to stay focused on my relationship with him and what he'd have me do...