My journey

Over the last few days..I've been looking back at some situations and just my life. I'm not where I want to me on so many levels. I started my wt loss journey some years back. I've gone up and down with my weight. I know the exact reason for it. Its that I've allowed food to be my master. Its what I think about in the middle of the night. Its during some of the stressful times in my life that I just dream of some heavenly choclate. I know that I'm not by myself here but I'm so tired of this. It has taken over my life. I've talked about it, blogged about it and frankley I'm tired of it. I can think of when my relationship with food was good. Now isn't that sad? I've been on my face before the LORD about this..and even when I get to my goal weight this issue won't be over until I just surrender to him. So that is where I am at today. I'm tired yet there is a release in my spirit. I'm not there yet..but my heart is just giving up. Giving up the control and giving unto him. Simply giving up, not really thinking about it but just doing it. Right now, food is my idol. Ok, I said it. But I don't want it to be. But to let this go I have to go beyond not wanting it to simply bowing myself down to the LORD's lordship in my life. This is a daily thing. I've just been so distant from the LORD over the last few months. I've not been praying as I should and my quiet time has been not consitent. During the night this past week, the LORD's presence was so strong. It was like he awaken me and said I am here. I haven't left you, Come back my child. To think that the LORD still loves me in spite of my unrepentent heart. Now that is what brought me to the end of myself. So again I place my hand in his hand. Oh Abba Father, I trust you, I'm holding on. I have no idea what lies ahead but I know that you are doing a new thing in me as I seek you. I just want to be want you want me to be. Remove those things in my heart that are not in accordance to your will for me. It will be hard but I know its all apart of you plan. This is my prayer. I'm open before the LORD and my " friends" who read my blog. Thanks to those who have been praying for me when you didn't even know why..I love you all and thankful to have you on apart of this journey with me.