Looking beyond!

This post is going to be a hard one I must admit and its my journey today. For some time, I have been distracted by some difficult issues in my life and family. I have cried out to the LORD about them and have been on my face really asking some hard questions about myself and those that I love. Last night, I just broke down and it was a time of just GOD really just speaking to me about my trust in him. Simply, am I going to trust him? You may say oh yea but its more than that for me. GOD is asking me and I am taking it at his word to LOOK BEYOND. Looking beyond by what I can see or think to what he is doing. I am doing Believing GOD Bible study by Beth Moore and last night I was reading about Moses and those in Bible times who had such great faith and GOD did great things. People like Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Jacob, Rahab, and so on... GOD used and still uses common people to accomplish his plan. Something though is this.. I may never see the plan worked out in my life but GOD is doing a thang! So as I sit right now in my living room and I look out of my window I am looking beyond. Looking beyond the extreme pain in my heart right now and looking forward to what GOD is teaching me. Tears flow because this is a time that simply I don't understand but I know that GOD is faithful. He is my redeemer. I love him not for what he will do and is doing but just for who he is. I am thinking and mediating on that thought today. GOD is bigger than I can really comprehend. He made everything and even those things we have never seen.
Now on to my memory verse for two weeks which is Psalm 84:1-2, How lovely is your dwelling place O LORD almighty! My soul, even faints for the courts of the LORD my heart and flesh cry out for the living GOD!
How lovely is being in the presence of GOD. Being in his presence does not mean that everything is what I want but being in his presence is what I need. Its my very breath. My soul, needs it. I will just about pass out without it. I can not do it without him. That is where GOD wants me. My total 100% need of him, relying on nothing but him.
This is my heart, my journey, and I thank GOD for who he is. May he find me faithful.I am so beyond words today. My heart is full.